Woody Guthrie on seeing The Grapes of Wrath

"Seen the pitcher last night, Grapes of Wrath, best cussed pitcher I ever seen.
The Grapes of Wrath, you know is about us pullin' out of Oklahoma and Arkansas, and down south, and a driftin' around over state of California, busted, disgusted, down and out, and a lookin' for work.

Shows you how come us to be that a way. Shows the dam bankers men that broke us and the dust that choked us, and comes right out in plain old English and says what to do about it.

It says you got to get together and have some meetins, and stick together, and raise old billy hell till you get youre job, and get your farm back, and your house and your chickens and your groceries and your clothes, and your money back.

Go to see Grapes of Wrath, pardner, go to see it and don't miss.

You was the star in that picture. Go and see your own self and hear your own words and your own song."

From the Songs of Woody Guthrie page, which I originally went to to find what the real lyrics were to This Land is Your Land. They're not what you think.
(This guy also runs a nice Doc Watson page worth checking out.)

Down with the, um, eight-hour work week, yeah...

"The Work Less Party was founded because modern Western culture's work ethic — the idea that the worth of a human being depends on the work that he or she does — no longer serves our society well. With vast increases in productivity over the past centuries, we no longer need everyone's efforts directed towards survival. And yet we do not question the work ethic that drives many of us to work long hours at jobs that we don't like, that provide little satisfaction, that harm our health, that take our precious time in exchange for mere consumer goods, that drive the economic engines of over consumption, and that ultimately leave the planet barren."

High band wit

So my bro Jim is starting a band in Atlanta (he plays drums), and they need a name. Normally you let the band itself work this sort of thing out, but in Jim's case, it's probably best that we lend a hand. After all, his last band was called "The Bloody Jeeter." Ah, no.
After a minute of research I found that there are a lot of great band names out there. If you've got something good but you need a rhyming word, try the Rhyming Dictionary. And when you finally do come up with a really cool name, you better register it at Bandname.com so nobody else invades yer turf. And finally, if you can't think of anything at all, try the Great Name for a Band Generator, but be warned that you might end up with a group called "The Flaming Blastocysts" or even worse. Here are some of my suggestions:

SuperDeluxe lifted from here
Dayglo Guthrie lifted from here
Apocalypse Socks
Bottleneck
Loud Stan
Whifflebill
Frydaddy
Jumbotron
The Terminological Inexactitudes
Bored Housewives
Multiple Celebrity Syndrome
Penguin Lust
The Incompatibles
Tom Foolery
Weapons of Bass Destruction (pronounced “Base”)
The Blank Tapes
The Pentameters
FunkaPop
The Plaintiffs, The Defendants, Esteemed Counsel, etc.
Baby and the Bathwaters
Nervous Jello
Griddle (go Kelline!)
Swayback

On behalf of myself and the other Bloody Jeeter fans out there, your help is appreciated.

Think I'll wallpaper my bedroom with this

From Alyoshi's page of illusions.

If you need me I'll be out of the country..

Congress moves to criminalize P2P

Actual text of Gettysburg Address found, yo

"Foe sco'e and seven years ago our faders brought fo'd on dis continent some new nashun, conceived in liberty and dedicated t'de proposishun dat all dudes are created equal. Now we is engaged in a great civil war, testin' wheda' dat nashun o' any nashun so's conceived and so's dedicated kin long endure. We is met on some great battlefield uh dat war. Ah be baaad... We gots mosey on down to dedicate some po'shun uh dat field as some final restin'-place fo' dose who here gave deir lives dat dat nashun might live. It be altogeda' fittin' and propuh' dat we should do dis. But in some larga' sense, we kinnot dedicate, we kinnot consecrate, we kinnot hallow dis ground. De brave men, livin' and wasted who struggled here gots consecrated it far above our poo' powa' to add o' detract. Man! De wo'ld gots'ta little note no' long rememba' whut we say here, but it kin neva' fo'get whut dey dun did here. It be fo' us de livin' rada' to be dedicated here t'de unfinished wo'k which dey who fought here have dus far so's nobly advanced. It be rada' fo' us t'be here dedicated t'de great tax' remainin' befo'e us--dat fum dese hono'ed wasted we snatch increased devoshun t'dat cause fo' which dey gave da damn last full measho' man uh devoshun--dat we here highly resolve dat dese wasted shall not gots got wasted in vain, dat dis nashun unda' God shall gots some new bird uh freedom, and dat guv'ment uh de sucka's, by de sucka's, fo' de sucka's shall not puh'ish fum de eard."

(via the Dialectizer)

exactly

This review of The Passion sums it up accurately. Time to move on, folks.

A recipe for disaster

1. Get out of class, walk outside to enjoy the rest of the nice day.
2. Untie Scout from the bench in front of the law school, empty her water bowl and hop onto your bicycle.
3. Proceed to follow Scout as she hauls ass across campus toward the pond with the geese and swans.
4. Get going very fast.
5. See three guys walking a dog up ahead.
6. Decide to give the guys a wide berth, start to ride onto grass.
7. Just as you pass the guys, their dog sees Scout and runs right in front of you.
8. Hit the dog.
9. Go flying from bicycle, land on sidewalk.
10. Lay there stunned while the three guys guffaw with laughter.
11. Refuse their offers for assistance, grumble something about being fine. Just fine.
12. Extricate yourself from the bike, pick up slightly bruised ego and shake it off.
13. Get back on bike, beat a hasty retreat as the sound of laughter recedes into the distance.

Good thing it's not totally unique

"Five planets are arrayed across the evening sky in a spectacular night show that won't be back for another three decades. For the next two weeks, Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter and Saturn — the five closest planets — should be easily visible at dusk, along with the moon. "It's semi-unique," said Myles Standish, an astronomer at Jet Propulsion Laboratory in Pasadena, Calif."

I say hello back to my legal research and writing class

my legal writing and research class says hello

right on

Now this is a cool site. WorldChanging.com is a blog-type site devoted to highlighting good ideas for sustainable development and alternative energy resources, among other things.

WorldChanging.com works from a simple premise: that the tools, models and ideas for building a better future lie all around us. That plenty of people are working on tools for change, but the fields in which they work remain unconnected. That the motive, means and opportunity for profound positive change are already present. That another world is not just possible, it's here. We only need to put the pieces together.

So what does this mean? Some of the ideas include clever designs for wind power, electric motorcycles, and interesting meditations on the role of technology. The site has a green slant obviously, but it goes way beyond tree-hugging. There are voices here that should be listened to.

it's a small internet after all

So tonight I finished my homework--I threw in the towel, in other words--and was cruising around via Google when I did a random image search for "mulberry fork kayak." You see, yesterday was one of the first days of spring, and spring means rain, and rain means kayaking. For close to six months now I've had to watch my boat gather dust in the corner of my den, alternatively serving as a coat rack and beer can receptacle/target. And I'm tired of it. So I wanted to see if there were any pictures on the web of my favorite Alabama river. And darn if it wasn't a picture of me.

Now, I know it's hard to tell who the fella in the boat is, but that's me in my old blue Inazone 230, before I got a real playboat. When I worked the night shift at the newspaper in Birmingham, I used to get up early (10-11:00 a.m.) and head out to the river with Scout, only 30 minutes by highway if I didn't stop for barbecue along the way. I'd usually just go to Five-O, one of my favorite playspots, and just surf for hours, chatting with whoever came by. A lot of people did. The Mulberry Fork of the Black Warrior River runs through Blount County, winding among small canyons, shoals and oak-lined beaches, a clear green thread lining the heart of the county. It's a pure joy to paddle.

So one cold day in December I was there, surfing, talking with the other paddlers who were lucky enough to have night jobs (or no jobs at all), when this guy comes down and starts taking pictures of us. Naturally, I paddled over and struck up a conversation, and after a while he introduced himself as David Haynes, and if I liked, he'd email me some pictures of myself cruising in the wave. I said sure, gave him my address and promptly forgot about it. Well, he wasn't joking. Turns out one of the shots he took of me was the December 4 photo of the week, making up part of his year-long photographic documentary, Alabama 2000: The Millennium Project. His work is top-notch. I remember him saying something about taking old-style photos, which explains the developing technique he mentions on the front page. The images are stark, insightful. Sad, even. Maybe it's just the sepia tint, but there is a sort of tragic humility in many of his images, if that's not going too far. They remind me of the sort of photos Eudora Welty took throughout the South during the 1930's.

Check his site out, and live for a bit along the roadsides and backyards of Alabama the Beautiful. I'll be out on the water.

Whoa

The String Cheese Incident has a new studio disc out, Untying the Not. This is the album art, done by Alex Grey. Dude.

Sign me up

Raving Lunatic Obviously Took Some Advanced Physics

"You have to wonder how this happened to him," Lundergaard said. "Was he calculating the transition amplitudes between the unperturbed eigenstates due to the presence of the perturbation in order to determine transition probabilities in time-dependent quantum phenomena, and the next day, strapping a TV antenna to his head?"
(The Onion, as usual)

This is supposed to be a letter addressed to Dr. Laura Schlessinger in response to her anti-gay rhetoric. An age-old but nonetheless valid point is being made:

"Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind him that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the specific laws and how to best follow them.

a) When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev 1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

b) I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

c) I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

d) Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

e) I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

f) A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an Abomination (Lev 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

g) Lev 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

h) Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev 19:27. How should they die?

i) I know from Lev 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

j) My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? (Lev 24:10-16) Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging."
(via Daniel)

The poetry of Donald Rumsfeld, set to music:

The Unknown

As we know,
There are known knowns.
There are things we know we know.
We also know
There are known unknowns.
That is to say
We know there are some things
We do not know.
But there are also unknown unknowns,
The ones we don't know
We don't know.

Department of Defense news briefing, Feb. 12, 2002
via metafilter

this makes my brain hurt

I'd rather see The Passion again

Hey kids, want to reenact Passover? Get you own bag of plagues right here! Apparently it's "a fun and educational way to involve children in the Passover experience."
via boingboing

been there, seen that

When you're watching television, do you ever get that feeling that no matter what happens, in some way you've seen it all before? Well, you have, according to the authors of The Catalogue of Television Tropes, Idioms, and Devices. Some examples:

"McGuffin (aka: MacGuffin or maguffin) is a term for a device or plot element in a movie that is deliberately placed to catch the viewer's attention and/or drive the logic of the plot, but which actually serves no further purpose - it won't pop up again later, it won't explain the ending, it won't actually do anything except possibly distract you while you try to figure out its significance. More specifically, it is usually a mysterious package or superweapon or something that everyone in the story is chasing.
Possibly coined by Alfred Hitchcock. The perfect example is the "government secrets" that motivate the action in North By Northwest (1959). Another typical McGuffin is the Maltese Falcon. It gets the characters together, pits them against each other, but turns out to be worthless.

Three Is Company: An episode based on a misheard conversation.

Mistaken For Gay: A comedy plot line in which a character wrongly believes another character to be gay, either because of misinformation received or because of the supposedly gay character's own misinterpreted words and actions. Once the character is taken to be a homosexual, all his words and actions become laden with innuendo and further misunderstandings ensue. Recent examples include "Frasier" and "Seinfeld." This ploy was actually a plot device and a running gag on "Three's Company".

She Is All Grown Up: Ugly duckling loses the glasses and walks down the stairs as a swan. Someone please, please subvert this one."

The cool thing is that these observations aren't just snarky, cynical quips about how television sucks, etc. They're actually part of a catalogue of the "tricks of the trade for writing television scripts," as the authors of the Front Page say. As they describe it, "the idea is to provide a resource for writers to spark ideas. Finding a cliché to subvert is always fun."

On behalf of all us disgruntled television viewers out here, thank you. Subvert away.
via boingboing

current mood: dirty

Given our understandable fascination with space, it comes as no surprise that the Mars rover Opportunity has spawned a number of weblog-type journals, a few of which are rather official, while others range from newsy to forum-based to educational. Well, like, Opportunity has its own blog, okay? And I mean, it's so rad. LOL! OMG!
(via memepool)

In the Amazone

To: orders@amazon.com
Subject: Re: Your Amazon.com Inquiry

"Dear Amazon,

Oh wow. Wow wow wow. Wow wow wow wow. You're so turning me on right now to savings. I want to gobble 'em up like candy.

I hope you don't consider it too forward of me that I sent you an e-card, Amazon. (It's a little note with a picture of the suicidal virgins. Hope you like it!) I just wanted to repay you for your warm, affectionate reply to my message. It meant a lot to me, as has the witty back-and-forth I've enjoyed with you while surfing your web site. "Click here, Daniel Arp." "Click there, Daniel Arp." You big tease. I'll click anywhere you want, Amazon . . ."

This guy cracked me up today. He's fallen madly in love with Amazon.com and is exchanging letters with customer service, who, I daresay, have no idea what to make of it. (via the bibliostrumpet)

the new motto for this blog

"I don’t necessarily agree with everything I say. "

-- Marshall McLuhan

skydiving is for wimps

Mr. Whitmore, who describes himself as an inventor and artist, has many incredible ideas. Another invention he dreamt up is a huge capsule made of bullet-proof glass. The thrill-seeker is strapped inside and the capsule is dropped [from an airplane] into the ocean, head first.

"Imagine the feeling," Mr Whitmore said.

no more studying for me

That's right, I've found an easier solution to the whole law school thing. Who needs to hit the books when you've got smart drugs? I'm joking, of course, but listen to this:

"I have been using Piracetam episodically for approximately 10 years. I have a very positive experience with this substance at approximate dosages of 1200 to 2400 mg per day over a period of 4 to 6 weeks, spaced apart 2-3 months.

The effects always include improved intellectual performance (I took LSAT before starting Piracetam regimen with a score of 160, I took it again while on 2400 mg of Piracetam with a score of 174. Those of you familiar with LSAT can appreciate significance of this increase), improved ability to study, mild euphoric stimulation . . . decreased cravings for tobacco (I'm a heavy smoker), increased libido, sence of well-being and general mood improvement. I haven't noticed any negative symptoms, other than maybe obsessive 'number-crunching' if given a chance."

Obsessive number crunching? Is this the new drug of choice for accountants? Or this? Or are they bad for you? Tune in, turn on, and drop in, yo.

light

“I Sit And Listen To Gillian Welch As The Sun Rises” was going to be the title of a poem I had stringing through my mind, until I realized I was actually sitting on my couch listening to bluegrass as the sun was poking through the blinds. It took me a while longer to remember I’m not a poet, but by then it didn’t matter. The song had already worked its way through me, and I was watching the sunlight catch and grow through the room. And it was simply following the music which had been spreading from corner to corner of the house since I had wrapped up my work an hour or two earlier, a disastrously productive late night. But sometimes my work, like the songs we listen to, are lonesome and require silence to complete. I forget who described the early Kentucky wailers as carrying that “high, lonesome sound,” but they knew what I’m describing here. It happens every morning, though we let it go. It’s even too early for the birds; just a low, soft light across the fields framing the dark silhouetted trees in the neighborhood like veins, a shadowed aortal flow. There are no mountains here, but the same silences exist. All the earth shares in the vacancy of first light. I wish what I had to say was from poetry. I wish I had time to fold, spindle, mutilate words to match what I’d like to say all day. Even greater, I wish I knew what to say. But then, what I listened to this morning was evidence that people do. Perhaps a few others. And as Saturday morning occurs here across Ohio I sit and watch Gillian Welch and Emmylou Harris sing a tune older than the couch I’m sitting in, older than Scout or myself and half the people in this neighborhood, and I’m drawn into thinking about how old things really are, and how long it takes people to really write what should be said about the oldest things. And don’t you know, darn it, but the birds started their first songs as I wrote this? The light pours through my windows now, all of them golden and alarming. I should go to bed. And I’m glad I got my work done, for one, but I’m even happier that I was able to be here and witness this dawn, which we so rarely see, full of music. And I’m glad for this old couch. And my dusty drapes. And I’m glad some old coot grabbed his gitbox one day in the backwoods smokey hills of Tenneseee years ago and slung his voice skyward. He too, like these dawnbirds, simply had something to say and voiced it low, high, and then quite seriously, into song.

must-have new kicks

You know I will run faster than you.

bookish query

Ok, a quick question: has anyone read a book called "The Magus"? I keep hearing this is an amazing book, but as you can see, there are multiple books with this same name. Is it that all books with this name are good (sort of like naming your next film "The Godfather"--a sure winner), or that there's some idea out there from which good books seem to result? Any tips would be appreciated (and recompensed--I'll send you some books I'm done with presently being used as doorstops and hotplates). Cheers.

and to think I could be doing this somewhere

Methink'st thou art a general offence and every man should beat thee

For those times when somebody cuts in front of you in line, and you just can't think of the appropriately confrontational remark, try using the Shakespearian insult generator.

best picture ever

This is Erin. She is at work. In Hawaii.

on trial

Well, I managed not to blow my first interview. At least not completely. I was pretty nervous when I went in, but they planned it so a younger associate, an amiable fellow named Riley, talked with me first and let me know how the interview would go. That helped calm me down a lot. He asked a few of the same questions the main group of attorneys asked me, so I had a chance to try out those answers on him first, as it were. It went OK, I think. They didn't really ask me anything awkward or difficult, like, "What is your greatest personal defect?" or "Have you stopped beating your wife yet?" But all the same, sitting at the head of the table, surrounded by 10 top-notch attorneys, all of them looking at your resume with questioning looks on their faces, is quite intimidating. My voice even cracked at one point, which immediately sent me into the depths of embarrassment. But I'm sure I noticed it a lot more than they did. Overall, I guess things went pretty well. I did notice, however, that they didn't, in a fit of passion and exhaltation, hire me on the spot. Maybe more jokes would do the trick.