God bless This Modern World. And God bless Tom the Dancing Bug.

I believe in this prophecy of Rimbaud, the Visionary. I come from a dark region, from a land separated from all others by the steep contours of its geography. I was the most forlorn of poets and my poetry was provincial, oppressed and rainy. But always I had put my trust in man. I never lost hope. It is perhaps because of this that I have reached as far as I now have with my poetry and also with my banner. If you are a fan of Pablo Neruda's poetry, as you should be, you will want to read his Nobel Lecture, delivered December 13, 1971. It is long but it is beautiful.

Informative article about relativity and quantum theory in this Scientific American article. Physicist Fotini Markopoulou Kalamara may have found a way to connect the two theories. The goal being to explain the nature of space and time. Science is so much bolder than faith, sometimes.

I'm sure all of you need a reference source for your Grateful Dead setlists, from 1972-1995. When I was getting into the Dead in high school I wondered at the incredible detail deadheads went into to record each and every note of each and every show. Then I finally went to a few shows myself and quickly realized why recording the music and events became so important. 'Cause if you remembered it, you weren't there.

Inversions are words drawn so they read the same backward as they do forward. (once again, metafilter)

Like snowflakes? Check out this interesting site on Wilson Bentley, The Snowflake Man. "Under the microscope, I found that snowflakes were miracles of beauty; and it seemed a shame that this beauty should not be seen and appreciated by others. Every crystal was a masterpiece of design and no one design was ever repeated., When a snowflake melted, that design was forever lost. Just that much beauty was gone, without leaving any record behind."

Apparently black and Latino males have been "showing up in droves" with symptoms of what popsychologists are calling "post-traumatic slavery disorder," where they claim to have been traumatized by things that happened to their ancestors. This left me stuttering with disbelief, until I read this piece, which alerted me to the fact that I have "Post-traumatic birth disorder," which has symptoms that include life and everything in it. Just my luck to come down with such a debilitating ailment, and one that just won't go away! Luckily Thanksgiving is coming up in a couple of days; it'll be a good time to sunpoena my parents and relatives. Another article here. (via metafilter)

The BOXPLORER takes any website you choose and interprets it a colorful series of boxes, much like a Mondrian painting. No content, no controversy. (via metafilter)

Anyone want to move to Charlotte, the possible new Whitewater capital of the east coast?

Thou puking shag-eared minimus! Thou haughty eye-offending haggard! Thou wenching ill-composed whey-face! Thou cockered eye-offending bum-bailey!
Feeling like issuing forth an Elizabethan insult unto the heat-oppressed brow of your friends? The curse generator will aid you in your endeavor, you surly shrill-gorged remnant.

Well, we've all heard the word antidisestablishmentarianism used in a sentence, but what about pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis, a miners' lung disease caused by inhaling silica? The Straight Dope has taken a peek into the small world of extremely large words, including one that is 1,913 letters long. Enrich your vocabulary, baffle your colleagues and friends.

Well, the EPA has done it again. On Friday they adopted a series of changes that challenge the legitimacy of the Clean Air Act, by easing restrictions on companies that continue to use old-as-hell equipment that was grandfathered in under older environmental standards. The new rules let facilities continue to use and repair old equipment without being subject to newer regulations. In other words, as long as the companies can justify that their facilities haven't "been upgraded," they can continue to pollute at older, greater levels. How does this provide a company incentive to clean up its act? It doesn't. Boston Globe has full story here.

Well, Debbie earned the title of Badass Angler this weekend, while I, on the other hand, earned only the lowly nickname Smells like Cow Patty.
We went down to Letohatchee Friday night after attending my cousin Henry Haskell’s wedding. The wedding went off without (or rather, with) a hitch, except that afterwards I walked up to Henry and accidentally called him Sam as I was congratulating him. My own cousin, and I call him by his brother’s name. Sheesh. I was immediately embarrassed of course, but my embarassment subsided once he corrected me and then... seemed... to... have... well, forgotten my name as well. I don’t see Henry a lot so it's not very surprising, plus the man had just gotten married, for chrissakes. He’s too worried about his future to be bothered with petty details from the past.
Anyway, so we forewent the reception in favor of heading out to the country side, which we did under a 3/4 moon and a clear, cloudless night sky. We got to the farm around 11:00 and drove down the dirt road past dozens of cows staring at us, not sure whether they should run away, attack us or stand there and stare dumbly into our lights. Luckily, they chose the latter. As I got out of the car to open up the gate I could hear cows bellowing in chorus out across the fields. I think they were all mating.
Anyway, the cows kept up their amorous trumpeting throughout the evening while we cooked up dinner and built a roaring fire in the fireplace. Being a clear night, it was cold, the stars like cold pinpoints of in the dark waters of the sky. The moon lit the ground like blue sunshine, bright enough to read by. A wonderful night.
So we got up the next morning and cooked breakfast, cleaned house, and loaded up the four-wheeler to do some fishing. We drove around the other side of the pond so we could set up shop on the dam, at which point the pond is very deep and tends to house large fish. Willows used to grow there, and the catfish would pool in the cool water beneath their branches. The beavers took those trees away years ago, though. The fish are still there, just deeper.
We went through probably eight cattle gates and finally got to the fishing spot, and Debbie started tossing out her “green worm with sparklies” while I went and chatted with my cousin-in-law, who was fishing on the dock. As I came back, Debbie started hollering that she’d caught one, and I smiled. I figured she’d caught a nice bass, maybe even a small catfish. But what came out of the water wiped my smug smirk from my face — it was HUGE, the biggest bass I’ve seen come out of that place in years.
She wrestled in up to shore and we couldn’t believe it. Though we thought it a ten-pounder at first ( I told Mark C. is was 12), it turned out to be almost 7 pounds, and 21 inches long. Not a mounter, but still a fine fish. Big Bertha finally met her match, indeed.
By the time we took it back and put it in the freezer, got the four-wheeler fixed and made it back out to the pond, the sun was sinking low in the large blue-into-orange sky. We only caught a few more small bass before day ended. And as we walked on up to the house in the dusk, our clothes and shoes becrapped, our hands ripe with bass slime, we laughed and titles were bestowed.
Debbie is officially a badass fisherwoman. Let all sing her praises.

29 Quotes Taken From Actual Medical Records (thanx Ph8) 1. By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling better. 2. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year. 3. On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it had completely disappeared. 4. She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night. 5. The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1983 6. Patient was released to outpatient department without dressing. 7. I have suggested that he loosen his pants before standing, and then, when he stands with the help of his wife, they should fall to the floor. 8. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed. 9. Discharge status: Alive but without permission. 10. The patient will need disposition, and therefore we will get Dr. Blank to dispose of him. 11. Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful. 12. The patient refused an autopsy. 13. The patient has no past history of suicides. 14. The patient expired on the floor uneventfully. 15. Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital. 16. The patient's past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days. 17. She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December. 18. The patient experienced sudden onset of severe shortness of breath with a picture of acute pulmonary edema at home while having sex which gradually deteriorated in the emergency room. 19. The patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch. 20. Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant. 21. The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed. 22. Since she can't get pregnant with her husband, I thought you would like to work her up. 23. She is numb from her toes down. 24. While in the ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home. 25. The skin was moist and dry. 26. Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches. 27. Coming from Detroit, this man has no children. 28. Patient was alert and unresponsive. 29. When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.

Sure, we've all laughed at rocks shaped like the male anatomy, but snicker no more. This stuff's real art, folks. The human ability to sexualize the landscape now elevated to the aesthetic plane. James Joyce once wrote that any piece of art that aroused you was not art but pornography. Is this porn? Surely this isn't!

Has anyone been to Burning Man? I want to go. Having been to only one Rainbow Gathering, and a rather tame regional one at that, I'm ready for a large dose of weirdness (no pun there). Where else can you go and find naked blue men riding bicycles shaped like fornicating fish? The cool thing about Burning Man is that everyone participates. Six days of craziness in the desert. I took part in some of the nuttiness at the Rainbow Gathering I went to: the drum circles, a sweatlodge, the council meetings, etc, but I definitely felt like an observer. (Except for that one time when I volunteered to go get some light beams for the soup. I walked out into the forest and wrapped my arms around a beam of sunlight and brought it back to the group kitchen and proceeded to chop it up into the pot of chili. I can't remember what impelled me to do that.. Well that sort of half-ass obligatory participation is not allowed at Burning Man. You have to BE something or DO something. What a gas. What's even more amazing is that it becomes a self-sufficient city in the middle of an arid desert playa. Anyone wanna go?

Sometimes I love working at the newspaper, I must say. Like today, Robin, the features writer, gave me the new "Blue Wild Angel - Jimi Hendrix Live at the Isle of Wight" DVD, which also came with a CD. It's rocking stuff, especially the "In From the Storm" finale. What's really cool on the DVD is that you can watch the concert through multiple simultaneous camera angles through a picture-in-picture feature. This is great! As a huge fan of sixties music I'm an avowed sucker for new releases like this. Give me a few new features and I'll buy Electric Ladyland all over again. Anyway, over the past months, Robin has given me (or I've scored from her CD stack without her knowing) all sorts of sweet tunes: Gran Torino, Ulu, Parlaiment, Robert Randolph, Sublime, Chambergrass, Old and in the Grey, DJ Dara, and others. It's a shame that the promotional companies don't know that we don't do many CD reviews.. Anyway, I also want to tell everybody to go out and burn/buy Robert Randolph and the Family Band Live at the Wetlands. Soul rock gospel blues at its finest. I've been boogyin' all afternoon. To quote my grandmother, "Nobody dances like they used to. All they do is wiggle around."

How Lord of the Rings and Star Wars stack up. Apparently Star Wars is a ripoff. Or is it just part of the grand human mythological structure?

The Antichrist...Have You Seen This Man? A site on possible antichrists through history. FDR? Kennedy? I knew Sam Donaldson was, but Prince Charles? C'mon..

Ha! This guy rigged up a camera to a van that he had modified to backfire very loudly. When people were near, he'd rev it up, causing a huge BANG and then he'd snap the reactions. Pretty funny pictures.

Coooooooooooll. Buildings blowing up. Where demolition comes alive.

Did Edgar Allan Poe actually formulate the Big Bang Theory years before scientists? In Poe’s words, the Universe started from a single and unique primordial particle, which originally consisted of the whole of the substance, and later, on the Creator’s will, instantly split into innumerable, but finite, aggregate of elements. After the splitting, atoms started spreading in all directions, and they filled empty spaces and created a sphere; the above-mentioned primordial particles were to become the center of the sphere. Based on this hypothesis, Edgar Poe solved the famous Olbers’ paradox. Indeed, if the Universe was infinite and the number of stars in it was also infinite, we would have seen then a night sky as bright as the Sun itself!

This is how you talk good and stuff. If I see one more "We sell hot dog's" I'm gonna scream. Poor grammar is rampant and if we relax our vigil it will take over. Ain't that right.

Get it?

Get your theory trading cards today! Comes free with a pack of new Cultural Hegemony Bubble Gum!

Wow, the guys at Black People Love Us get along with black people so well! Gosh, it's just amazing, isn't it?!

"The idea of (children) loosely running around and chasing each other is not safe," Long Hill Elementary School Superintendent Arthur DiBenedetto told The Star-Ledger of Newark, N.J. What a load of crap. How else are children going to learn what a cruel, vicious world it can be?

According to Googlism: mcdowell is a not mcdowell is located in floyd county mcdowell is a real mcdowell is a real estate agent mcdowell is only six weeks into his pro career" mcdowell is the author or co mcdowell is the episcopal church camp and conference center for the diocese of alabama mcdowell is a realtor in clovis mcdowell is now available mcdowell is the perfect villain mcdowell is mcdowell is a member of the writer's guild of america mcdowell is one of a select group of writers chosen by george lucas to continue the life mcdowell is responsible for developing strategies and managing microsoft mcdowell is actually a name of origin in scotland mcdowell is a realtor in conway mcdowell is vice president and assistant general counsel for the competitive telecommunications association mcdowell is on the left at martin luther king jr mcdowell is located at 326 west walnut street in danville mcdowell is working on a new pitch mcdowell is right to appeal to the testimonium as independent confirmation of the historicity of jesus mcdowell is claiming that historical evidence demands a verdict for the christian faith mcdowell is determined to make it third time lucky on his home debut in the murphy's irish open this week mcdowell is smashing tiger woods college scoring records on his mcdowell is a progressive acoustic rock performer mcdowell is now tied for seventh as an individual for uab mcdowell is half mcdowell is winning new fans every day with her highly confessional folk rock mcdowell is the weekend sports anchor here at wowk mcdowell is left unable to walk mcdowell is a classic mcdowell is a natural entertainer who has been greatly blessed with one of the most beautiful voices you will ever hear mcdowell is also working with artistic director claude giroux and beth fauerbach as they develop the conservatory for young people and serves as an associate mcdowell is also the birthplace of one of the first known advocates of human rights mcdowell is the man behind this website mcdowell is located about 400 km north of toronto mcdowell is schoolcraft's third and longest mcdowell is one of the screen's most iconic actors mcdowell is forever alex of 1971?s a clockwork orange mcdowell is completely miscast mcdowell is the 626th most popular last name mcdowell is the graffiti prevention coordinator for the city of portland mcdowell is a trec licensed real estate broker in texas mcdowell is the author of two previous books of poetry mcdowell is an internationally known speaker mcdowell is a mcdowell is stuffed into a windowless room mcdowell is a recipient of numerous engineering society awards for research and teaching mcdowell is a reminder of how indebted rock is to the blues mcdowell is a most referred? realtor in clovis mcdowell is pleased this quarter to have acted as local advisor to viridian group plc in relation to its sale to a management buyout team of the mcdowell is one of the pre mcdowell is a board mcdowell is suddenly knocked out in the 1st inning at oakland and charged with the 8?5 loss mcdowell is a most referred? realtor in conway mcdowell is ninth in the nation in scoring with 17 touchdowns and one two mcdowell is the best choice to help you get that protection mcdowell is proud of "gangster no mcdowell is searching for regarding her new direction mcdowell is expected to build on these relationships in order to develop a number of cross mcdowell is active on various astm committees and is a frequent speaker on fire mcdowell is the author of mordred's curse and merlin's gift mcdowell is a full time software engineer for ensoft ltd mcdowell is the second ucsc faculty member to serve as a carnegie scholar mcdowell is studied today by military historians for several reasons mcdowell is that his "scholarship" is slipshod at best mcdowell is one of the only two companies in the world to have 7 brands that sell more than a million cases per annum in its portfolio mcdowell is the market leader in the imfl industry with a market share of over 25 per cent mcdowell is to become a small victory for jackson a victory that was desperately needed by the south mcdowell is reputed the pioneer settler mcdowell is out campaigning mcdowell is a genuine icon of traditional country blues mcdowell is featured along with a few members of the congregation mcdowell is back and badder than ever in his latest turn on the big screen mcdowell is presently interested in the rovibrational spectroscopy of small molecules and molecular clusters mcdowell is subject to discipline on count i under section 210 mcdowell is not a scholar mcdowell is expected to be criminally charged mcdowell is breathtaking in it's simipilicity mcdowell is a sculpted specimen torn straight from some muscle mag mcdowell is the division chief for the new tax audit division mcdowell is program coordinator at the chicago department of cultural affairs mcdowell is fighting for his political life and it's not a pretty sight mcdowell is the first uab golfer ever tabbed to the ping all mcdowell is located on vista valley property mcdowell is also chairman of georgia tech's materials council

Announcing Buy Nothing Day! In response to the massive consumer orgy known as Christmas in America, pundits and groups are speaking out, asking consumers ("consumers" !?) everywhere to reject the rampant materialism of the season and buy less. Is this good for the economy? Do we want an economy that demands public spending sprees? Interesting links to other arguments against Christmas Chaos here too.

Oh my god. Look at Michael Jackson now.

The sodaconstructor site is one of the weirdest I have ever seen. Someone has programmed an Erector-Set-type designing program that lets you build strange geometrical shapes and them animate them! Look at the examples for an idea of how it works--then prepare to spend hours building your own little odd creatures.

From Adam Felber's site, Fanatical Apathy. Wednesday, November 13, 2002 Minutes of the Tri-Border Terrorist Summit “CNN has learned from coalition intelligence sources that several top terrorist operatives met recently in the area -- where the borders of Argentina, Brazil and Paraguay intersect -- to plan attacks against U.S. and Israeli targets in the Western hemisphere.” - from CNN In Attendance: Imad Mugniyeh (Chairman), Assad Ahmad Barakat, Abu Zalaief, Pyotr Thorstenborg, Ibrahim al Muhammed, Muhammed bin Oslam, Muammar Assad, and Osama bin Laden (deceased). Minutes taken by: Carlos Escobar - Allah was praised. The meeting was called to order. - Minutes of the last meeting were read and approved. Allah was praised. OLD BUSINESS - I. Mugniyeh congratulated everyone on the successes of recent operations, singling out A. Zalaief for his part. A. Zalaief mentioned that he still hadn’t received remuneration for various expenses, even though he’d turned in receipts. I. Mugniyeh assured A. Zalaief that said remuneration was forthcoming. - I. Mugniyeh was congratulated on ease of setting up meeting. I. Mugniyeh pointed out that U.S. "obsession" with Iraq made event planning easier. M. Assad suggested sending Saddam Hussein anonymous "gift basket" containing fruits and skin care products. Motion was defeated (6-1, M. Assad Dissenting, O. bin Laden abstaining). - A. Barakat made a motion to open the windows, security risks notwithstanding. O. bin Laden’s advanced state of decomposition was cited, and the motion passed 6-1 (bin Oslam dissenting, bin Laden abstaining). The windows were opened. Allah was praised. - M. Assad raised the continuing issue of O. bin Laden’s status. I. Mugniyeh argued that O. bin Laden’s leadership was still valuable, heartbeat notwithstanding. Offered as evidence recent audio tapes of bin Laden and their inspirational effect on the faithful. - re: audio tapes. I. Al Muhammed noted that comic impressionist Youssef “Chickens” bin Achmed was now asking for twice his usual fee to record O. bin Laden’s messages. M. Assad argued that “Yemen’s most outrageous funnyman” had them “over a barrel,” as his bin Laden impression was flawless. Several minutes were spent recalling “Chicken” bin Achmed’s best routines. Laughter, Allah was praised. - A. Zalaief remarked that he hoped bin Achmed had been “saving his receipts," added, "not that it would make much of a difference.” Laughter ceased. I. Mugniyeh called the remark “snarky.” Zalaief apologized. Allah was praised. NEW BUSINESS - Lunch was served. M. Assad noted that good hummus was unavailable in South America. I. Mugniyeh remarked that some brands of Chilean hummus were “actually not too bad” and that M. Assad was “welcome to host the next meeting” if he so desired. M. Assad apologized. Allah was praised. - A. Zalaief counseled M. Assad not to host next meeting, as he “would never be paid back.” - A. Zalaief was executed by common consent (6-1; Zalaief dissenting, bin Laden abstaining). Body was removed. Allah was praised. - Debate as to nature of next major operation (“Plan A” or “Plan B”). Secretary was asked to not record details. -P. Thorstenborg inquired if the new operations would include “ the usual special two for one deals for first-class State Room passengers.” Silence ensued. - Questioning revealed that P. Thorstenborg believed he was at a cruise line’s annual convention in Buenos Aires. P. Thorstenborg was executed. I. Mugniyeh underscored the necessity for heightened security measures before meetings. Allah was praised. - Debate resumed. M. Assad said Plan A was best. Barakat argued for Plan B. Mugniyeh concurred. M. bin Oslam concurred. O. bin Laden gave passionate plea for Plan A. - Barakat accused M. Assad “puppeting" O. bin Laden. Cited nylon strings around wrists, uncharacteristically high voice, fact that O. bin Laden was actually deceased. - O. bin Laden denied accusation, but A. Barakat, I. Mugniyeh, and Secretary saw M. Assad’s lips moving this time. - M. Assad was executed by common consent (4-2, M. Assad and O. bin Laden dissenting). Allah was praised. - Meeting adjourned due to lack of quorum. Allah was praised. Next meeting TBA.Thursday, November 14, 2002

I just love being alive. And on vacation. Tuesday was a great day. I woke up and cooked Debbie some eggs and sausage and watched her off to work, then collected my gear and headed for the river. I’m skirtless so Leigh Ann let me borrow hers (thanks!), but around noon I was on the road in the crisp midday air, a sky impossibly blue. Scout went the whole way with her head and tongue hanging out of the window, smiles on the faces in cars we passed. Drove on up and over to the river, and it was at the perfect level, good to run, even better to play on. There was only one fellow there, a guy named Eric who I’d paddled with before. The water was so cold. I just outfitted my kayak with foam padding two nights ago, so I fit snugly and watertight. The water was at about three feet, plenty of whitewater and a nice foam pile on Five-O, the great park-n-play spot I adore. I spent a while getting warmed up, just side surfing in the roiling, frothing hole. As I got acclimated and the water worked its way into my skin I started getting’ jiggy, pulling blunts, enders, cartwheels, and surfing the entire wave. What a great day. The air cool and clear, water rushing by symphonic in intensity, the whirl and play of a small boat in big water. Yes. Scout stayed on the beach and barked, periodically getting up enough nerve to try and cross the river, but once she hit the first wave she’d balk and turn back no matter how much we yelled her on. She used to swim over every time, but I think she’s been dunked one too many times. When I got out to rest and sit on the rocks chatting with Eric and his girlfriend Jody, Scout would run in mad circles in the sand across the way, pausing only to dig a frantic sand pit and bark furiously at the water. Eventually Eric left and I was alone playing in the surf, watching the leaves fall in yellow splashes into the river. Occasionally a log would float by. No clouds at all. Finally a fellow named Tom Killian showed up, and his friend Mike. Soon we were all hitting the hole in succession, whooping it up and trying to get vertical, laughing along with the river. Rusty showed up, who’d been to see Widespread Panic in Huntsville the night before. And we surfed, until the sun was descending and the evening chill spread out across the water, making its way through our insulation, and one by one we climbed on the bank and watched the rest. Finally I had to go, my skin cold and my arms tuckered out. Scout and I loaded up and I headed back down the dirt road towards Blountsville, the music of the river rocking my mind into a moving smile.

What type of government do live under? DEMOCRAT: You have two cows.  Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful.  You vote people into office that put a tax on your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then take the tax money, buy a cow and give it to your neighbor.  You feel righteous.  Barbara Streisand sings for you. SOCIALIST: You have two cows.  The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor. You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow. REPUBLICAN: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So? COMMUNIST: You have two cows.  The government seizes both and provides you with milk. You wait in line for hours to get it. It is expensive and sour. CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows. DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows.  The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift from your government. BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows.  The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, and then pours the milk down the drain. AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows.  You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the second one.  You force the 2 cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead.  You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses.  Your stock goes up. FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows.  You go on strike because you want three cows.  You go to lunch.  Life is good. JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows.  You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.  They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains. Most are at the top of their class at cow school. GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You reengineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour. Unfortunately, they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year. ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows but you don't know where they are.  While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman. You break for lunch.  Life is good. RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows.  You have some vodka.  You count them and learn you have five cows.  You have some more vodka.  You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.  You count them again and learn you have 12 cows.  You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.  The Mafia shows up and takes over how ever many cows you really have. POLISH CORPORATION: You have two bulls.  Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them. FLORIDA CORPORATION: You have a black cow and a brown cow.  Everyone votes for the best looking one.  Some of the people who like the brown one best, vote for the black one instead. Some people vote for both.  Some people vote for neither.  Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.  Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which is the best-looking one. NEW YORK CORPORATION: You have fifteen million cows. You have to choose which one will be the leader of the herd, so you pick some fat cow from Arkansas.

Got any questions about Arab-Americans? 100 of them to be exact? Here they are all answered.

When the idiots begin to prevail, pull out Carl Sagan's Baloney Detection Kit, and watch them run.

Welcome to the pseudodictionary, "the place where words you've made up can become part of an actual online dictionary! slang, webspeak, colloquialisms...you name it, if you know a word that should be in the dictionary but isn't, submit it and we'll post it on this site (with credit given to you of course)"

Need a cartoon today? Right now? Introducing the Comiclopedia!

Anyone else a fan of Bill Moyers? Here he comments on the new breed of Republican in Washington.

This is a very cool story about a girl who was backpacking through Vietnam and found a dealer selling, among other Vietnam War-era things, several dog tags that once belonged to American GIs. She bought them all and is trying to get them back to their owners' families. A very heartfelt account of her experience. If you know anyone who was in Vietnam, pass this on.

This is odd, but interesting. The Conceptual Metaphor Page is a research tool for the study of conceptual metaphor systems. The target phrases, "A problem is a region in a landscape" are strange but once you read them they make sense. It refers to what metaphorical process occurs when we say "We've got to survey the problem." The problem is now a geographical entity.

Today is my birthday. I'm 30. I'm taking off work and going kayaking..

Akiyoshi's illusion pages is a collection of truly amazing geometrical illusions created by a psychology professor in Japan. Note the disclaimer at the top - 'if you start to feel dizzy, you had better leave.'

It's brash opine, the poem. Read it and weep. Then scratch head.

Nice hippu hangu jeans! Apparently English words are infiltrating into the Japanese language, much to the consternation of elderly Japanese, who can't figure out that shadoh means 'eye shadow.' Sounds like a bad case of Engrish to me.

Anyone need a roll-up keyboard? I know they used to have floppy disks, but this is bizarre. I need a roll-up monitor, too..

Yaaaay Debbie! The CPA exam is behind her. She doesn’t know what she made, but I hope she passed. Four hours of gruelling test-taking has killed stronger people.. So we went out and celebrated with margaritas, and a mariachi band serenaded us with “Tequila” first, then later came back and Debbie requested a Gypsy Kings song, which they knew, and while they were singing two waitresses came over and grabbed us and started dancing! Soon we were all getting jiggy with it right there in the middle of La Manchas, or whatever the place is. More fun than a barrel full of monkeys. Now on to Europe..

All I have to say right now as we enter the vicissitudes of the Alabama gubernatorial election shakedown, is: Spasm waiter dropping to his knees, sees Slander on wrap paper ties Lifting up his head he feels the sunlight in his eyes Grasp a kettle top and shoot the breeze, please Ramble while slop scraper sighs Tossing in his bed at night he'll dream until he dies Operations at the sink The dribble liquid visible beneath his troubled eyes Feels it tilt and start to slide Mask a pretty hopper's foot with squeeze cheese Dangle some grape apple pies Tranquil and serene until he runs out of supplies Your hands and feet are mangos You're gonna be a genius anyway Your hands and feet are mangos You're gonna be a genius anyway

who dat

lovely

"If this magnetar were as close as the Moon, it would rearrange the molecules in our bodies," says scientist. Amazing.

Interesting Discovery Channel (who?) article on the recent assasination of al-Qaeda operatives in Yemen by a drone. Unmanned war becoming reality. I just hope everyone's watched "Maximum Overdrive."

Oh great. This site claims that You Are Where You Live. Apparently, where I live people are extremely likely to...

Be pro wrestling fans

Buy gospel music

Own a Mazda

Watch BET

Read GQ. What's up with that? I burn my gospel music--I don't buy it..

Tom Petty Is Pissed. And he is right. Great article on his beef with society and the music industry.

This site is pretty fun. Paint by numbers! Haven't you always wanted to create your own mark Rothko?

An update on the Sokol incident. Two brothers apparently received PhDs for spouting nonsense at Bourgogne University. The article is here. The ivory towers are showing a little yellow around the edges..

This bogus research paper by this guy, Alan Sokol, got into this academic journal, Social Text in the mid 1990s. In it he attempts to prove that "physical reality ... is at bottom a social and linguistic construct." Ha! A hilarious and illuminating story of the power of obfuscation.

A forward from Kelly: Work VS Prison > Just in case you ever got the two mixed up, this should make things a bit clearer: > > IN PRISON...you spend the majority of your time in an 8X10 cell. > > AT WORK... you spend the majority of your time in a 6X8 cubicle. > > IN PRISON...you get three meals a day. > > AT WORK...you only get a break for one meal and you pay for it. > > IN PRISON...you get time off for good behavior. > > AT WORK...you get more work for good behavior. > > IN PRISON...the guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you. > > AT WORK...you must carry around a security card and open all the doors > > for yourself. > > IN PRISON...you can watch TV and play games. > > AT WORK...you get fired for watching TV and playing games. > > IN PRISON...you get your own toilet. > > AT WORK...you have to share with some idiot who pees on the seat. > > IN PRISON...they allow your family and friends to visit. > > AT WORK...you can't even speak to your family. > > IN PRISON...all expenses are paid by the taxpayers with no work required. > > AT WORK...you get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they > > deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners. > > IN PRISON...you spend most of your life inside bars wanting to get out. > > AT WORK...you spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars. > > IN PRISON...you must deal with sadistic wardens. > > AT WORK...they are called managers.

Ah, Dave Barry. Here he rants on technology -- has it gone too far?

Who should run the Internet? The body that manages a key aspect of the internet, Icann, has failed and should be scrapped, argues technology consultant Bill Thompson. Interesting info on just how in the hell the Internet works.

The Storm King Art Center celebrates landscape sculptures, those huge things people do in large fields that few people ever see -- until now. Some really good discussion of the relationship between ourselves and the landscape we inhabit, as well as the aesthetics of landscape.

This guy rocks. In 1982 he tied 45 six-foot weather balloons to a lawn chair and shot up into the sky to 16,000 feet, was spotted by Delta Airlines jetliner pilots and eventually shot the balloons with a BB gun until he descended to earth near San Pedro, Calif., unharmed. The F.A.A. cited him for four violations of the Federal Aviation Act, including operating a "civil aircraft for which there is not currently in effect an airworthiness certificate." I love it.

What the hell is this? Some weird creature found in Chile. Article is translated through babelfish.

Beautiful images from the Galileo Project can be found here. Galileo has been in space for 13 years taking thousands of photos and readings, but it is time he left us. On November 4th, the craft will plunge into Jupiter, depleted of fuel, film and functionality. Read the obit here. Where are you, Rocket Guy?

I want a bar of this. Caffeinated soap seems to be the latest in techno geek/silicon valley accoutrement. Now you can start your buzz even sooner in the day! And if the soap isn't enough, you could just take the shower using caffeinated water...

The Democratic Underground has identified The Top Ten Conservative Idiots. At last?

This site discussing "nether belching" is rather ridiculous. --< gets cheap laugh by talking about farts >--

This is a good article on the latest work by Andy Goldsworthy, an artist whom I find incredible. This is what he does. Check it out.

A liberal argument for a regime change in Iraq, by Salman Rushdie here. Wonderfully written. Via (viva!) metafilter.

Since college and all that implies I have been a fan of recreational mathematics. This site is a listing of some very nice fractal web sites, where you can download eye candy by the bushel. Wow, man..