finally

The Onion movie is coming out

hahahah

San Diego Zoo, Prison Merge

SAN DIEGO—Plagued by a lack of funding and growing staff shortages, the San Diego Zoo and Ironwood State Prison were combined earlier this week, bringing local inmates and wildlife together for the first time under the same roof.

The new state-of-the-art facility—which will house 12 separate cell blocks, a reptile house, two weight rooms, and a primate sanctuary—is expected to save the state of California up to $5 million in operation costs over the next year.

aahh hahaha

Black Guy Asks Nation for Change.

Idiom Shortage Leaves Nation All Sewed Up In Horse Pies

It's an absolute oyster carnival!

haha!

Bill Clinton: "Screw it. I'm running for president."

hoo hoohehe

CIA Realizes It's Been Using Black Highlighters All These Years

tragedy

Earthquake Sets Japan Back To 2147.