"Hi, and welcome to Bean and Nothingness, New York's first truly holistic coffee bar. My name is Harmony and I'll be your beverage liaison this morning. Since this is your first time with us, why don't you sit in one of our Epiphany Chairs while I give you a quick orientation? Feel free to self-reflect, write poetry, or juggle if the mood strikes."Here at Bean and Nothingness, our aim is not just to provide you with the sheer tranquillity and utter transcendence that only the best coffee and coffee-related products can achieve but also to help you reach complete spiritual self-actualization during your time here. From our socially conscious beverages to our community-oriented pastries and our globally sensitive condiments, Bean and Nothingness is committed to making this a better world one customer at a time, just like it says on the door, and the counter, and the wall. It's not just a slogan, either. No, every staff member here at Bean and Nothingness truly believes that we're making a better world one customer at a time and has sworn it, in blood, under the influence of sodium pentothal. I should also tell you that our coffee pickers are the happiest in the world. While other companies exploit their Third World employees, we at Bean and Nothingness ensure that our field workers are given a constant intravenous drip of MDMA and opiates. Sure, it slows down production and, sure, they spend a lot of time hugging, but, in the end, it's worth it. You can practically taste the love in the beans..."
