Five terrible fake scripts from a notional fourth season of Gilligan’s Island

1. Ginger gets badly hooked on coconut-based diet pills
2. Gilligan quietly begins surreptitious relationship with Mary Ann’s cut-offs
3. Mr. Howell acquires Skipper in stock-only buy-out
4. Intact Coast Guard ship lands in lagoon; Professor disassembles parts to construct ersatz wooden "rescue telephone"
5. Cousin Oliver arrives, reviving the tired franchise with his inspired island mayhem

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