"I'm not greedy. I have love, blue skies, rainbows, and Hallmark cards, and that has to be enough… It seems just rude to beg the invisible for more."If you don't mind arguments along these lines, and you like Penn and Teller, you'll want to see this video.
Wednesday, November 30, 2005
hm
Penn Jillette on why there is no "God."
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
quote of the day
"All I want is a warm bed, a kind word, and unlimited power."
--Ashleigh Brilliant
(via daniel)
end of an era
The final nail in the coffin of the Sixties was driven home recently when Grateful Dead Merchandising, the group that handles official products for the band and is overseen by its surviving members (Namely, Jerry Garcia's ex-wife) pulled over 3,000 live shows from the online music database Archive.org. Considering that the Dead allowed fans to tape and trade their music for over thirty-years, this move seems a bit greedy and pointless. Indeed, when you get confused, just listen to the music play..
Monday, November 28, 2005
exactly
Five ways your histrionic anti-abortion friend might refer to a fetus:
1. pre-huggable cutiebunchkins
2. unrealized attorney
3. The Lord’s compulsory intercourse receipt
4. untapped angel cluster
5. ante-baptized believer cells
Sunday, November 27, 2005
wot that Aprille in her shoures suette
A very cool and brief history of the English tongue, with a chronology and a comparison of the Lord's Prayer in different stages of the language.
bad idea
Former FEMA Director Michael Brown, heavily criticized for his agency's slow response to Hurricane Katrina, is starting a disaster preparedness consulting firm to help clients avoid the sort of errors that cost him his job. In other words, to help clients avoid the sort of mismanagement that occurred under his regime.
webcam art
AMAZING video of the Miraflores locks of the Panama Canal. This is one week compressed into 11 minutes--mezmerizing.
Friday, November 25, 2005
Thursday, November 24, 2005
Monday, November 21, 2005
an era passes
Alfred Anderson, the last known survivor of the 1914 "Christmas Truce" that saw British and German soldiers exchanging gifts and handshakes in no man's land, died early Monday, his parish priest said. He was 109. His death leaves fewer than 10 veterans of World War I alive in Britain.
atypical
Interesting story about a 75-year-old woman who for the last eight years has been an international jewel thief--by walking into jewelery stores, confusing employees, and walking out with the goods.
Sunday, November 20, 2005
Saturday, November 19, 2005
don't mess with the dominoes
"The organizers of Domino Day 2005 managed to set a new world record Friday after successfully toppling more than 4.1 million dominoes. Their record-breaking attempt nearly ended earlier this week, however, when a sparrow flew through an open window in the auditorium and knocked down 23,000 dominoes. A system of 750 safety blocks prevented the bird from bringing down most of the domino chain. The bird was shot by an exterminator with an air rifle after it was cornered."
Friday, November 18, 2005
Thursday, November 17, 2005
men at work
I'm doing a little cleaning up around the site, so don't worry if things look different for a while. Much obliged.
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
I need one of these
A new camera will let you take the picture first, then focus the shot as you want it later.
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
Monday, November 14, 2005
putting my English degree to work
Somehow I got diverted to a site entitled "Weird Things You Probably Never Knew," which was filled with various factoids I've seen before in countless emails over the years, all of which I have immediately disregarded as being "Weird Things That Probably Aren't True." But because the site was filled with all sorts of groovy vintage pre-1998 html, I couldn't help but wonder why someone had gone to all that trouble to create a website promoting such inane fabrications. I won't bother you with a link (don't waste your time), but I will provide a few of the lies things you probably never knew.
Butterflies taste with their feet. (Okay, maybe)
Butterflies taste with their feet. (Okay, maybe)
In ten minutes, a hurricane releases more energy than all the world's nuclear weapons combined. (Doubt it. How big a hurricane? How many nuclear weapons are we talking about here?)
TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters of only one row of the keyboard. (Clever, but I bet someone could come up with a longer word in about ten minutes.)
On average, 100 people choke to death on ballpoint pens each year. (As Mark Twain said, "There are three types of lies: lies, damn lies, and statistics.")
Thirty-five percent of people who use personal ads for dating are already married. (And I'm sure you know this because these people are so open and honest about their infidelity.)
Elephants are the only animals that can't jump. (Define 'jump.' What about a whale?)
It's possible to lead a cow upstairs...but not downstairs. (Perhaps, if they were steep.)
Women blink twice as much a men. (Blinking is a physical necessity, so I can't see why women would need to work twice as hard to keep their eyes moist.)
A snail can sleep for three years. ("Can"? As if by choice? Implausible, but possible I guess.)
No word in the English language rhymes with the word "month." (That depends on how severe your lisp is.)
The average lifespan of a major league baseball is seven pitches. (Okay, I can see that.)
The electric chair was invented by a dentist. (This a flat out lie. An excerpt from wikipedia on "electric chair": The first practical electric chair was invented by Harold P. Brown. Brown was an employee of Thomas Edison's, hired for the purpose of researching electrocution and for the development of the electric chair. Since Brown worked for Edison, and Edison promoted Brown's work, the development of the electric chair is often erroneously credited to Edison himself.)
All polar bears are left handed. (Doubt it, but who knows. Why would an animal that walks on all fours favor one paw over another?)
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. (I can see it.)
"Go." is the shortest complete sentence in the English language. (Clever, but it's not necessarily 'complete.' You've got all those implied subjects and objects in there.)
The cigarette lighter was invented before the match. (Doubt it. According to Wikipedia, a predecessor of the match was developed in China in 577, consisting of small sticks of pinewood impregnated with sulfur. The first modern match, sayeth Wikipedia, was invented in 1805 by K. Chancel, assistant to Professor L. J. Thénard of Paris. I couldn't find a date of progeny for the cigarette lighter, but seeing that the cigarette itself wasn't invented until after the Crimean War, 1954-1856, I doubt the cigarette lighter preceded the cigarette.)
American, on average, eat 18 acres of pizza every day. (Now this may be true. As a matter of fact, I'm getting sort of hungry.)
Savannah on Halloween
John and Christy brought their pumpkin-themed daughter by for a bit of trick-or treating a couple of weeks ago. Isn't she photogenic?
vandalartism
Next time you go to a hotel, you may want to check and see what's behind the art on the wall.
Responsible Spam
From: Confidence D. Riblet
Subject: engorge
Love life letting you down?
Can't SATISFY your woman?
Perhaps the two of you should sit down and discuss the issue. By opening the lines of communication, your relationship (and, not incidentally, your love life) will improve tremendously.
- - - -
From: Brent Ranch
Subject: final warning
Earn a *genuine* college degree based on taking classes!
Read books, write papers, take tests. It's hard work (except for Intro to Geology with Miller—that's a total blow-off), but you'll end up smarter and more well-rounded. Plus, you'll never again have so many opportunities to score.
Subject: engorge
Love life letting you down?
Can't SATISFY your woman?
Perhaps the two of you should sit down and discuss the issue. By opening the lines of communication, your relationship (and, not incidentally, your love life) will improve tremendously.
- - - -
From: Brent Ranch
Subject: final warning
Earn a *genuine* college degree based on taking classes!
Read books, write papers, take tests. It's hard work (except for Intro to Geology with Miller—that's a total blow-off), but you'll end up smarter and more well-rounded. Plus, you'll never again have so many opportunities to score.
Via McSweeney's
Sunday, November 13, 2005
truly essential
Oh, and if you're into fractal art, you'll probably be needing a
fractal art quilt pretty soon. Guaranteed to keep you warm during those long winter nights spent in the supercomputer lab at MIT crunching numbers.
Saturday, November 12, 2005
Friday, November 11, 2005
I have been remiss
Wow, I apologize, everybody. It’s been almost a month since I last posted. But it wasn’t my fault, I swear. You see, I was abducted by the Amish and have been living in a small wooden shack in Bellefontaine, Ohio for the past three weeks with no electricity or plumbing. In between my chores, which consisted of milking the cows, feeding the chickens and extracting tree stumps from a ten-acre field with a mule-driven plow, I tried to post to the blog by carrier pigeon. It failed miserably. I was trying to upload some digital photos of my shack but the pigeon apparently didn’t understand where to plug in the USB cable or something. Then I tried writing out a blog entry on parchment with my new quill pen and sending it to Blogger, but nothing ever happened (it must have been intelligible because I was writing at night by oil lamp). Finally, I tried to construct a computer out of maple, square nails, parrafin and twine, but my hard drive would only hold one byte of information and crashed even before I got the thing turned on. Lemme tell you, blogging’s not easy on the commune. And to be honest, I didn’t think folks would be much interested in reading:
“Oct 23, 2005: Today I worked hard, ate some bread and went to sleep on the cot.”
“Oct 24, 2005: Today I worked hard, ate some bread and went to sleep on the cot.”
“Oct 25, 2005: Today I worked hard, ate some bread and went to sleep on the cot.”
“Oct 26, 2005: Today I worked hard, ate some bread and went to sleep on the cot.”
You get the idea. So please accept my apologies and keep in mind that I’m totally blameless here. In fact, in order to post this very message, I had to disguise myself as an Amish girl (luckily no one hits on Amish girls) and go to town for some “shopping,” and while the elders who accompanied me were out back haggling over the price of a cord of wood, I bolted. After a couple of hitch-hike rides from some very confused drivers, I made it back into Ada just before the computer lab closed. Well, actually it was closed and I had to break into the building and almost got arrested, but whatever. The point is, I’m back and you should be happy. Actually you probably owe me some money. I take personal checks and cash only—no credit cards, please.
Oh, and the other reason I haven’t posted for almost a month is that nothing of interest has occurred on the internet or in the real world. None, nada, zippo. Not one event of any communicable interest has happened anywhere. You didn’t miss anything. These aren’t the droids you’re looking for.
Finally, on a slightly more realistic note, I’m happy to announce the creation of a new website I created for Mary Pat and I: www.marypatandmcdowellswedding.com. As you can see from the title, it’s got everything you need to know about our upcoming nuptials. Please do stop in and say howdy.
Sooo I’m back and happy and it is a new day, full of light. I’m so glad you could make it.
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