this is fun

I am a Japanese School Teacher

One day after class, a ninensei girl walked up to me, and out of nowhere proudly exclaimed "Spread your legs!" Perhaps mistaking the look of shocked bewilderment on my face for misunderstanding, she stuck her chest out and repeated it even louder - "Spread your legs!"

She then produced a book of colloquial English expressions. Apparently. She'd taken the phrase from the police section...you know, "Get out of the car! Against the wall! Spread your legs!" She had just randomly selected "Spread your legs!" and decided to hit me with it one day.

But imagine one day a 14-yr old Japanese girl walks up to you and just shouts out "Spread your legs!" I had no idea how to react to that. If she'd whipped out a gun or a a samurai sword or even a small woodland animal I could have dealt with that, but "Spread your legs!" left me completely incapacitated.

As if that wasn't bad enough, the teacher leaned over and asked "Oh, is it correct?" I somehow pull myself back together and say no, it's not. Well, technically I suppose it is, but...just no. So then she asks "Why?" Oh Lord.

This was not in the job description.