Merry Christmas, errybody

Ah, the balmy days of an Alabama winter. Our family just got back from Christmas in Tampa, Florida, where we attended my cousin Charlie Gage's wedding, a delightful affair in perfect weather. It never gets below 50 degrees in Tampa, in case you were wondering. Things are nice here in Montgomery, too; I wear shorts in the morning when I jog, and short sleeves all day. Yesterday my sister and I had to turn on the air conditioning in her car as we drove around town. So far the break has been warm, relaxing, and restful, so no worries here. Hope all of you are enjoying the same.

So is this a contract?

"As a small token of your friendship Sauron asks this," he said: "that you should find this thief," such was his word, "and get from him, willing or no, a little ring, the least of rings, that once he stole. It is but a trifle that Sauron fancies, and an earnest of your good will. Find it, and three rings that the Dwarf-sires possessed of old shall be returned to you, and the realm of Moria shall be yours for ever. Find only news of the thief, whether he still lives and where, and you shall have great reward and lasting friendship from the Lord. Refuse, and things will not seem so well. Do you refuse?" --The Fellowship of the Ring, in "The Council of Elrond" Heidi Bond's blog cracked me up today, via mefi. She takes this "offer" and analyzes it according to Contracts law, which I just finished studying a semester of. A great glimpse into the pervasive, surreal and mind-numbing nature of legal thought today.

Twas the Night Before Christmas in Brooklyn

Twas the night before Christmas,
Da whole house was mella,
Not a creature was stirrin',
Cuz I had a gun unda da pilla.
When up on da roof
I heard somethin' pound
I sprung to da window,
To scream, "YO! Keep it down!"
When what to my
Wanderin' eyes should appear,
But da Don of all elfs,
And eight friggin' reindeer!
Wit' slicked back black hair,
And a silk red suit,
don Christopher wuz here,
And he brought da loot!
Wit' a slap to dare snouts,
And a yank on dare manes,
He cursed and he shouted,
And he called dem by name.
"Yo Tony, Yo Frankie,
Yo Vinny, Yo Vito,
Ay Joey, Ay Paulie,
Ay Pepe, Ay Guido!"
As I drew out my gun
And hid by da bed,
He flew troo da winda
And slapped me 'side da head.
"What da hell you doin'
Pullin' a gun on da Don?
Now all you're gettin' is coal,
You friggin' moron!"
Den pointin' a fat finga
Right unda my nose,
He twisted his pinky ring,
And up da chimney he rose.
He sprang to his sleigh,
Obscenities screamin',
Away dey all flew, Before he troo dem a beatin'.
Den I heard him yell out,
What I did least expect,
"Merry Friggin' Christmas to all,
And yous better show some respect!"

It’s midnight, Saturday night. I’ve been at my desk studying for my civil procedure exam since 6:30, so long my posterior is complaining (inaudibly). I don’t mind, though, as I’ve got jurisdiction down cold. A few minutes ago a car went past slowly, sounding odd, muffled. Scout got nervous and ran to the door, the usual indication of either a needed pee or a stranger’s presence, so I went downstairs to let her out and it was so quiet and so completely white I walked outside in the absolutely silent snow, falling like thousands of tiny paper diamonds. So new nothing had disturbed its smooth blanket anywhere, only the one set of tire tracks through what was once the street in front of my house. Seriously, four inches in as many hours. This is Ada’s second snow, but this one is nicer, dry and cleaner than the deluge we got two weeks ago, where it got warm the day after and everything was soon just cold mud. Tonight it is well below freezing, and the snow stays frozen in your glove, on your jacket. It is perfect for snowballs, as Scout discovered much to her bewilderment, then dismay, then triumph. I am frequently reminded by my friends who are amused by the fact I am from Alabama that this is normal. Last year they got eighteen inches in two days, yada yada. But I don’t care. There is something so strange about snow that it’s like sunrises or fettuccini alfredo, cranking the music up when I drive. I hope it never gets old. I just wish there were some hills around here. Anyway, final exams are halfway over and sanity is with us, which is good. On campus the mood can go from jubilation to despair in about four seconds flat, then back again, although since we don’t know how we’ve done on our tests so far it’s hard to really relax. These are by far the hardest I’ve ever taken. But it’s the same for everybody, so all you can do, ironically, is hope your friends did worse than you did. I reckon we’ll see. The career services department has started cooking food every day after some students reported they had foregone cooking (and eating?) in order to study, which I thought was a bit ridiculous, but the free chili is nice. I would say as a general proposition that giving out free granola bars is the sort of behavior we should encourage. (Justices O'Connor, Rehnquist, Powell, Scalia, concurring. Justices Brennan, White, and Marshall dissenting on grounds of failure to prove intestinal jurisdiction.) I’ll be home on the 20th. I can’t wait to see yall.

Ouch

Just emerged from my Property final exam, three and a half hours of grueling analytical mayhem. I couldn't sleep very well last night because my study group stayed at the library late and I had a lot running through my head when I finally hit the sack at 11:00 pm. So a group of us are heading to the Beagle for a commiseratory beer and then I'm heading to the casa for a well-deserved nap. Please excuse me, my brain is slap wore out.

hubba hubba

So there I was perusing the date ads when I ran across the girl of my dreams..

um

I know blogs are pointless, often self-aggrandizing bouts of senseless twaddle, but I hope mine isn't this bad.

good article

Calvin and Hobbes, we hardly knew you.

help a brother out

Well Matt has decided to do the right thing even if, in the end, his posterior may disagree. He'll be cruising over 500 miles on a bike as part of an AIDS/LifeCycle ride in June, and he needs help ponying up the requisite pledge money. Go here for some info and go here to make a donation. If you've never perched in the saddle for a long period of time, trust me - it takes dedication.

Good stuff on Saturday: Set 1: Wilson Cars Trucks Buses Limb By Limb Dirt Seven Below Divided Sky Fast Enough For You Julius Set 2: Twist > Simple Taste Makisupa Policeman Buffalo Bill* David Bowie Strange Design Character Zero Encore: Friday * w/ Tom Marshall