How I felt the other day as I drove home

Laughing Corn

There was a high majestic fooling
Day before yesterday in the yellow corn.

And day after to-morrow in the yellow corn
There will be high majestic fooling.

The ears ripen in late summer
And come on with a conquering laughter,
Come on with a high and conquering laughter.

The long-tailed blackbirds are hoarse.
One of the smaller blackbirds chitters on a stalk
And a spot of red is on its shoulder
And I never heard its name in my life.

Some of the ears are bursting.
A white juice works inside.
Cornsilk creeps in the end and dangles in the wind.
Always--I never knew it any other way--
The wind and the corn talk things over together.
And the rain and the corn and the sun and the corn
Talk things over together.

Over the road is the farmhouse.
The siding is white and a green blind is slung loose.
It will not be fixed till the corn is husked.
The farmer and his wife talk things over together.

-Carl Sandburg, 1918

alas

Well, it was bound to happen. The Birmingham Post-Herald has printed its last edition. Those of you not from Alabama may not know what this is. I spent almost two years in that office downtown, first as a copy editor, than as a page designer, and finally as a reporter. Although I was usually underpaid and my night-time schedule was a major hassle (especially for dating), it was a pretty cool place to work. It was satisfying nailing a solid front page layout on deadline. It was a gas seeing my name in print. I loved walking up to people and introducing myself as a reporter and hearing their stories. I was on friendly terms with the mayor and, for at least one interview, with then-Alabama governor Don Siegelman. But the whole time I was working at the Post-Herald we knew that our competing newspaper, the Birmingham News, was taking all of our readers. We were the afternoon paper, and our news was old hat by the time we hit the racks.

I was also there on September 11. Adam Wilson and I were watching the debacle at his house on tv, and shortly after the second tower fell we got a call from the editor saying we needed to come in to work. The next 24 hours were crazy. I still have the edition that we printed that morning. In fact, I thought our coverage of the event was just as good as any other newspaper in the country, and certainly better than that of our competitor across the hall, the News. And that’s what makes the whole thing sad—we were frequently the better newspaper. But few read us, for a host of reasons. Namely, we were the afternoon rag, the red-headed stepchild with yesterday’s news. But that’s exactly why we were good—because we gave the whole story behind the headlines, because we took the time to talk to people and report what effect the headlines were having on the people in our community.

And so a good thing comes to an end. I’m glad I left the paper when I did, but I’m also glad I was there and learned all I did. I also hope Adam, who was still working at the Post-Herald when it closed its doors (he’s the one in the center of the picture with the grey shirt), finds a new job soon. Doesn’t the Appalachian Trail Conference have a newsletter?

good grief

Richard Simmons' cameo appearance on Whose Line Is It Anyway?

whoa

flashback headache anyone?

ah

I really would rather be doing this.

Bizarre products, chapter xxvii

This is chocolate toothpaste.

I want these

greatest. image. ever.

anywhere but here indeed

This is the most awkward birth announcement, ever.

it's happening

There is something very, very odd about these plants.

ground truth

Amazing panoramic photos of Katrina's destruction. Scroll around in each photo itself.

just what Halloween needed

my new favorite phrase

Joy-to-stuff ratio: (joy-too-STUF ray.shee.oh) n. The time a person has to enjoy life versus the time a person spends accumulating material goods.

new words

I recently finished Cormac McCarthy’s latest novel No Country For Old Men and once again I am, well, blown away. The book is rich, beautifully written, yet haunting and very violent. But Cormac’s violence is more instructive than sensational, and the events that unfold in this south Texas tragedy could have easily taken place in Flannery O’Connor’s Georgia backwaters or along Faulkner’s dusty Mississippi roads. Epic violence set against the backdrop of a primal human conflict that has occupied the pages of many, many writers. I found the following review accurate.

Set along a bloody frontier in our own time, this is Cormac McCarthy’s first novel since Cities of the Plain completed his acclaimed, bestselling Border Trilogy.

Llewelyn Moss, hunting antelope near the Rio Grande, instead finds men shot dead, a load of heroin, and over two million in cash. Packing the money out, he knows, will change everything. But only after two more men are murdered does a victim’s burning car lead Sheriff Bell to the carnage out in the desert, and he soon realizes that Moss and his young wife are in desperate need of protection. One party in the failed transaction hires an ex-Special Forces officer to defend his interests against a mesmerizing freelancer, while on either side are men accustomed to spectacular violence and mayhem. The pursuit stretches along and across the border, each participant seemingly determined to answer what one asks another: How does a man decide in what order to abandon his life?

A harrowing story of a war society wages on itself, an enduring meditation on the ties of love and blood and duty that inform lives and shape destinies, and a novel of extraordinary resonance and power.

While I was delighted to find Cormac back in action, I was even more delighted when I read the news that the ever-poignant Coen brothers (O Brother, Where Art Thou, Intolerable Cruelty, The Man Who Wasn’t There, etc.) have decided to film this book. I was disappointed when Cormac’s All the Pretty Horses got the Hollywood shakedown a few years ago with such poor results, so hopefully this time we have directors more fitted to the task. Read it before the movie comes out, folks.

no no no no no no no no no no no

Ten Commandments judge to run for Alabama governor.

Former Alabama Chief Justice Roy Moore, who was fired in 2003 for disobeying a federal order to remove a Ten Commandments monument from a courthouse, said on Monday he would be a candidate for governor of Alabama in 2006.

Moore, a fundamentalist Christian from northern Alabama who supports school prayer and opposes gay marriage, pledged to fight against higher taxes, tighten restrictions on illegal immigrants and improve education if elected.

are you talkin' to me?

Ontological argument for the existence of Flying Spaghetti Monster

P1. I conceive of a being than which no greater can be conceived.
P2. If a being than which no greater can be conceived does not exist, then I can conceive of a being greater than a being than which no greater can be conceived, namely, a being than which no greater can be conceived *that exists*.
P3. I cannot conceive of a being greater than a being than which no greater can be conceived.
C1. Thus, a being than which no greater can be conceived exists.
P4. If that being does not have a Noodly Appendage, then I can conceive of a being greater that being, i.e. a being *that has a Noodly Appendeage*.
C2. Thus, a being than which no greater can be conceived has a Noodly Appendage.
C3. Therefore, a being than which no greater can be conceived has a Noodly Appendage and exists, that is, the Flying Spaghetti Monster exsits.

via.

exactly

wow.

Have you ever seen The Shining? You know, the one starring Jack Nicholson? Well, maybe you haven't.

now that's a brave cat

World Beard and Moustache Championships

I think this guy is the winner.

7 Habits of Highly Successful People

BY BRENDON LLOYD

1. Skiing
2. Yachting
3. Snorkeling
4. Golf
5. Polo
6. Dinner parties
7. Shopping

via McSweeney's

shakin'

This is a page of eyewitness accounts to the New Madrid, CA earthquakes of 1811-1812. Some of them are amazingly accurate and depict what was probably one of the most dramatic natural disasters in recorded history.

time is on my side, yes it is

Check out this interesting site on things made and invented by prisoners.

This is a chess set made from toilet paper, sugar water, and cardboard.

"The biggest treasure in history has been located."

600 barrels of loot found on Crusoe island in the Pacific.

Tomb of Odysseus found

The tomb of Odysseus has been found near Poros on the Island of Kefalonia, Greece. The location of his legendary capital city of Ithaca has also been determined, although local politics have kept the news under wraps for some time. Very cool.

it works

Was there an image posted here that you really want to see again? Just try this Google Images search: site:trialshoe.blogspot.com.

thou shalt read this

The thinking which resulted in the post below also led me to do a little research on the 10 commandments. It turns out the “10 commandments” we know and love are not the actual 10 commandments. There seems to be some controversy on this point, but after looking it up, it seems to me like someone has some explaining to do. The following is, appropriately enough, an excerpt from Russ Kick’s book 50 Things You’re Not Supposed to Know. Though Kick’s tone is smug and annoying at times, he notes some interesting things. You can read the whole book here.

Every Decalogue you see — from the 5,000-pound granite behemoth inside the Alabama State Judicial Building to the little wallet-cards sold at Christian bookstores — is bogus. Simply reading the Bible will prove this. Getting out your King James version, turn to Exodus 20:2-17. You'll see the familiar list of rules about having no other gods, honoring your parents, not killing or coveting, and so on. At this point, though, Moses is just repeating to the people what God told him on Mount Si'nai. These are not written down in any form.

Later, Moses goes back to the Mount, where God gives him two "tables of stone" with rules written on them (Exodus 31:18). But when Moses comes down the mountain lugging his load, he sees the people worshipping a statue of a calf, causing him to throw a tantrum and smash the tablets on the ground (Exodus 32:19).

In neither of these cases does the Bible refer to "commandments." In the first instance, they are "words" which "God spake," while the tablets contain "testimony." It is only when Moses goes back for new tablets that we see the phrase "ten commandments" (Exodus 34:28). In an interesting turn of events, the commandments on these tablets are significantly different than the ten rules Moses recited for the people, meaning that either Moses' memory is faulty or God changed his mind.

Thus, without further ado, we present to you the real "Ten Commandments" as handed down by the LORD unto Moses (and plainly listed in Exodus 34:13-28). We eagerly await all the new Decalogues, which will undoubtedly contain this correct version:

I. Thou shalt worship no other god.
II. Thou shalt make thee no molten gods.
III.. The feast of unleavened bread thou shalt keep.
IV. Six days thou shalt work, but on the seventh day thou shalt rest.
V. Thou shalt observe the feast of weeks, of the firstfruits of wheat harvest, and the feast of ingathering at the year's end.
VI. Thrice In the year shall all your men children appear before the Lord God.
VII. Thou shalt not offer the blood of my sacrifice with leaven.
VIII. Neither shall the sacrifice of the feast of the passover be left unto the morning.
IX. The first of the firstfruits of thy land thou shalt bring unto the house of the LORD thy God.
X. Thou shalt not seethe a kid [ie, a young goat] in his mother's milk.

Can anyone explain this to me? Daniel, I want you in here.

the truth

Recently we held our law school’s annual mock trial competition, and as a member of the board, I got/had to sit through all of the preliminary rounds as a “juror” (we were actually judging the competitors on style, ability to argue, etc.). We tried as best as we could to preserve all the gravity and decorum of a real trial in a real courtroom, even going so far as to sequester the witnesses (i.e. our classmates) and swear them in as they took the stand. However, at one point we realized that our witnesses were being sworn in on a copy of our school’s law review periodical, and this didn’t seem appropriate. (the Dean might not have minded, I suppose). I was asked if I had a copy of the Bible we could use, so I brought one the following evening and we proceeded.

But I couldn’t help wondering—if judges aren’t allowed to display copies of the ten commandments on the walls of the courtroom, is it a violation of that principle to require witnesses to affirm their statements on a Bible? I’m not sure of the legal implications of being sworn in on a copy of the Koran or the Vedas or the Tao te Ching, but I wonder how the courts handle witnesses of different faiths who are asked to place their hands on the Bible and swear to tell the truth and nothing but the truth “so help me God”? By now some of you may be rolling your eyes, but I’m not necessarily advocating that we quit the practice of swearing on some text of higher import. I will admit that it doesn’t really serve any legal purpose, but I kind of like some of the old traditions provided they don’t step on anyone’s philosophical toes. Any Buddhists, Muslims, etc. out there with a take on this?

oh great

"It may be the oddest tale to emerge from the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. Armed dolphins, trained by the US military to shoot terrorists and pinpoint spies underwater, may be missing in the Gulf of Mexico."