The gentleman moved in front of the cart and firmly gripped the sides, saying “Sir, I must see your receipt before you leave.”“Oh, I see what you mean,” I replied. “I guess we better get one of your security people over here.”
That puzzled him for a second. “Will you wait here while I get somebody? he asked.
“No.” I said. “I’m out the door as soon as you get out of the way.”
This was a spontaneous answer on my part, but in all honesty I was delighted to have stumbled onto a perfect dilemma for this zealous worker. If he stood his ground, he couldn’t see my receipt. But if he went for assistance, he might lose an opportunity to nail the Tylenol/Windex/Aussie Moist Conditioner thief. He then began to work his way up the side of the cart toward me, his strategy apparently being to keep one hand on the side of the cart and one foot on the floor at all times. Finally, he took hold of my forearm, which surprised me, but not in a good way..
Thursday, November 30, 2006
Why you shouldn't bother showing your receipt when you leave Wal-Mart
where there's a will..
you said it, Jimmy
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
tips
I'm lucky because I need a PDA for work. Most people don't feel like paying the money for the elaborate devices or forking up extra cash for internet access. But now there are a number of free programs and services out there that offer the same functions the Treo offers, and the word is getting out. Here is a list of some of the services I have used over the past year or two which have saved me many a nickel and dime, recently discussed in the New York Times:
→ Instead of paying $1 or $2 for calling 411 (information), you can call 800-FREE-411 (800-373-3411). A computer or human being looks up a number for you at no charge, once you’ve listened to a 20-second ad.
→ For an ad-free option, send a text message to 46645. This service is provided free by Google. In the body of the message, type what you’re looking for, like “Roger McBride 10025” or “chiropractor dallas tx.” Seconds later, you get a return message from Google, complete with the name, address, and phone number. It can also send you the weather report (in the body, type, for example, “weather sacramento”), stock quotes (“amzn”), where a movie is showing nearby (type “flushed away 44120”), what a word means (“define schadenfreude”), driving directions (“miami fl to 60609”), unit conversions (“liters in 5 gallons”), currency conversions (“25 usd in euros”), and so on. Your cell service usually charges you ten cents or so to send a text message, but Google's service is free.
→ You can also do info searches by voice by dialing 800-555-TELL (800-555-8355). You are then promted to say "Travel," "Traffic," "News Center," "Stock Quotes," and so on. The system figures out your location and automatically factors that in when you ask for "Movies," "Restaurants," "Driving directions" or "Taxi."
→ You can call internationally for the same price as a regular cellphone call by dialing 712-858-8883; Simply press 1 for English, then punch in 011, the country code and the phone number. You can find country codes here.
→ For easy, free voice messages try Pinger. You call an access number and leave your message and the other person can hear it and reply with one keystroke. No dialing in voicemail passwords, listening to instructions, etc.
→ For another variation on voicemail, YouMail operates like your regular voicemail, but with more options. For example, it allows you to record a separate greeting for everyone you know. Kinda cool. It's free for now, but will probably have ads thrown in soon.
→ Finally, as Christmas Shopping Season nears, you might want to try dialing 888-363-7822 when you find a product you like. When prompted, plug in the bar code on the package, and after a brief ad, you will be provided with a description of the product and the prices from three sample online stores. Just so you know you're not getting ripped off.
cheers!
Monday, November 27, 2006
Saturday, November 25, 2006
Thursday, November 23, 2006
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
good news
an excerpt: "In what is a victory for free speech on the Internet, the California Supreme Court ruled today that no provider or user of an interactive computer service may be held liable for putting material on the Internet that was written by someone else. In doing so, the Court overruled an earlier decision by the Court of Appeal.Today's ruling affirms that blogs, websites, listservs, and ISPs like Yahoo!, as well as individuals like defendant Ilena Rosenthal, are protected under Section 230 of the federal Communications Decency Act (CDA), which explicitly states that "[n]o provider or user of an interactive computer service shall be treated as the publisher or speaker of any information provided by another information content provider."
"By reaffirming that Congress intended to grant protection under Section 230 to those who provide a forum for the views of others, the Court has ensured that the Internet will remain a vibrant forum for debate and the free exchange of ideas," said Ann Brick, staff attorney at the ACLU of Northern California. "Any other ruling would have inevitably made speech on the Internet less free." "
Sleep: a functional enigma
Cultural Learnings of America
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
Monday, November 20, 2006
fyi: A Liberal's Pledge to Disheartened Conservatives
To My Conservative Brothers and Sisters,I know you are dismayed and disheartened at the results of last week's election. You're worried that the country is heading toward a very bad place you don't want it to go. Your 12-year Republican Revolution has ended with so much yet to do, so many promises left unfulfilled. You are in a funk, and I understand.
Well, cheer up, my friends! Do not despair. I have good news for you. I, and the millions of others who are now in charge with our Democratic Congress, have a pledge we would like to make to you, a list of promises that we offer you because we value you as our fellow Americans. You deserve to know what we plan to do with our newfound power -- and, to be specific, what we will do to you and for you.
Thus, here is our Liberal's Pledge to Disheartened Conservatives:
Dear Conservatives and Republicans,
I, and my fellow signatories, hereby make these promises to you:
1. We will always respect you for your conservative beliefs. We will never, ever, call you "unpatriotic" simply because you disagree with us. In fact, we encourage you to dissent and disagree with us.
2. We will let you marry whomever you want, even when some of us consider your behavior to be "different" or "immoral." Who you marry is none of our business. Love and be in love -- it's a wonderful gift.
3. We will not spend your grandchildren's money on our personal whims or to enrich our friends. It's your checkbook, too, and we will balance it for you.
4. When we soon bring our sons and daughters home from Iraq, we will bring your sons and daughters home, too. They deserve to live. We promise never to send your kids off to war based on either a mistake or a lie.
5. When we make America the last Western democracy to have universal health coverage, and all Americans are able to get help when they fall ill, we promise that you, too, will be able to see a doctor, regardless of your ability to pay. And when stem cell research delivers treatments and cures for diseases that affect you and your loved ones, we'll make sure those advances are available to you and your family, too.
6. Even though you have opposed environmental regulation, when we clean up our air and water, we, the Democratic majority, will let you, too, breathe the cleaner air and drink the purer water.
7. Should a mass murderer ever kill 3,000 people on our soil, we will devote every single resource to tracking him down and bringing him to justice. Immediately. We will protect you.
8. We will never stick our nose in your bedroom or your womb. What you do there as consenting adults is your business. We will continue to count your age from the moment you were born, not the moment you were conceived.
9. We will not take away your hunting guns. If you need an automatic weapon or a handgun to kill a bird or a deer, then you really aren't much of a hunter and you should, perhaps, pick up another sport. We will make our streets and schools as free as we can from these weapons and we will protect your children just as we would protect ours.
10. When we raise the minimum wage, we will pay you -- and your employees -- that new wage, too. When women are finally paid what men make, we will pay conservative women that wage, too.
11. We will respect your religious beliefs, even when you don't put those beliefs into practice. In fact, we will actively seek to promote your most radical religious beliefs ("Blessed are the poor," "Blessed are the peacemakers," "Love your enemies," "It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God," and "Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me."). We will let people in other countries know that God doesn't just bless America, he blesses everyone. We will discourage religious intolerance and fanaticism -- starting with the fanaticism here at home, thus setting a good example for the rest of the world.
12. We will not tolerate politicians who are corrupt and who are bought and paid for by the rich. We will go after any elected leader who puts him or herself ahead of the people. And we promise you we will go after the corrupt politicians on our side FIRST. If we fail to do this, we need you to call us on it. Simply because we are in power does not give us the right to turn our heads the other way when our party goes astray. Please perform this important duty as the loyal opposition.
I promise all of the above to you because this is your country, too. You are every bit as American as we are. We are all in this together. We sink or swim as one. Thank you for your years of service to this country and for giving us the opportunity to see if we can make things a bit better for our 300 million fellow Americans -- and for the rest of the world.
Signed,
Michael Moore
mmflint@aol.com
www.michaelmoore.com
fundamentalism v. passion
Friday, November 17, 2006
Thursday, November 16, 2006
quote of the day
so cool, so needless
100 Hours
Our New Direction begins with a commitment to integrity, civility, and fiscal responsibility. We will break the link between lobbyists and legislation. We will govern the House of Representatives under bipartisan administration, so that the voice of every American will be heard. And we commit to no new deficit spending, with pay-as-you-go budgeting. These are the principles by which we will govern. And under these principles we will take our country in a new direction, with priorities that address the urgent needs of the American people.In the first 100 hours:
» We will start by cleaning up Congress, breaking the link between lobbyists and legislation and commit to pay-as-you-go, no new deficit spending.
» We will make our nation safer and we will begin by implementing the recommendations of the independent, bipartisan 9/11 Commission.
» We will make our economy fairer, and we will begin by raising the minimum wage. We will not pass a pay raise for Congress until there is an increase in the minimum wage.
» We will make health care more affordable for all Americans, and we will begin by fixing the Medicare prescription drug program, putting seniors first by negotiating lower drug prices. We will also promote stem cell research to offer real hope to the millions of American families who suffer from devastating diseases.
» We will broaden college opportunity, and we will begin by cutting interest rates for student loans in half.
» We will energize America by achieving energy independence, and we will begin by rolling back the multi-billion dollar subsidies for Big Oil.
» We will guarantee a dignified retirement, and we will begin by fighting any attempt to privatize Social Security.
We will introduce this legislation on the first day of the new Congress, we will pass it within the first 100 legislative hours. This new direction represents the priorities of a unified Democratic Party. This is our pledge to the American people.
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
Monday, November 13, 2006
Friday, November 10, 2006
more lyrics
throwing chicken in the bucket with the soda pop can
puke green uniform on my back
I had to set it on fire in a vat of chicken fat
I leaped on the counter like a bird with no hair
running through the mini mall in my underwear
I got lost downtown couldn't find a ride home
sun went down I got frozen to the bone
'til a hooker let me share her fake fur coat
as I took a little nap the cops picked up us both
I tried to explain I was only trying to get warm
I knew I never ever should have burnt my uniform
he said 'too bad, better bite the bullet hard son'
I didn't have no teeth so I stole his gun
and I crawled out the window with my shadow on a spoon
dancing on the roof, shooting holes in the moon
I ain't gonna work for no soul suckin jerk
I'm gonna take it all back and I ain't sayin jack
standing right here with a beer in my hand
and my mouth is full of sand and I don't understand
fourteen days I been sleeping in a barn
better get a paycheck tattooed on my arm
whistlin dixie with the dixie cup filled
with the barbecue sauce and the dental floss chill
big fat fingers pointing into my face
telling me to get busy cleaning up this place
I got bent like a wet cigarette
and she's coming after me with a butterfly net
ridin on a bloodhound ringing the bell
black cat wrapped in the road map to hell
pencil on my leg and I'm trying not to beg
taking turns bakin worms with the bacon and eggs
well they got me in a bird cage flappin my jaw
like a pretzel in the stars just waitin to fall
so give me what I got to get so I can go
cause I ain't washin dishes in the ditch no more
and I ain't gonna work for no soul suckin jerk
I'm gonna take it all back and I ain't sayin jack
Thursday, November 09, 2006
of course
1. Mandatory homosexuality
2. Drug-filled condoms in schools
3. Introduce the new Destruction of Marriage Act
4. Border fence replaced with free shuttle buses
5. Osama Bin Laden to be Secretary of State
6. Withdraw from Iraq, apologize, reinstate Hussein
7. English language banned from all Federal buildings
8. Math classes replaced by encounter groups
9. All taxes to be tripled
10. All fortunes over $250,000 to be confiscated
11. On-demand welfare
12. Tofurkey to be named official Thanksgiving dish
13. Freeways to be removed, replaced with light rail systems
14. Pledge of Allegiance in schools replaced with morning flag-burning
15. Stem cells allowed to be harvested from any child under the age of 8
16. Comatose people to be ground up and fed to poor
17. Quarterly mandatory abortion lottery
18. God to be mocked roundly
19. Dissolve Executive Branch: reassign responsibilities to UN
20. Jane Fonda to be appointed Secretary of Appeasement
21. Outlaw all firearms: previous owners assigned to anger management therapy
22. Texas returned to Mexico
23. Ban Christmas: replace with Celebrate our Monkey Ancestors Day
24. Carter added to Mount Rushmore
25. Modify USA's motto to "Land of the French and the home of the brave"
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
Friday, November 03, 2006
it's time for: Name That Song!
And deep beneath the rolling waves
In labyrinths of coral caves
The echo of a distant time
Comes willowing across the sand
And everything is green and submarine
And no-one showed us to the land
And no-one knows the where or whys
But something stirs and something tries
And starts to climb towards the light
Strangers passing in the street
By chance two separate glances meet
And I am you and what I see is me
And do I take you by the hand
And lead you through the land
And help me understand the best I can
And no-one calls us to move on
And no-one forces down our eyes
And no-one speaks and no-one tries
And no-one flies around the sun
Cloudless everyday you fall upon my waking eyes
Inviting and inciting me to rise
And through the window in the wall
Come streaming in on sunlight wings
A million bright ambassadors of morning
And no-one sings me lullabies
And no-one makes me close my eyes
And so I throw the windows wide
And call to you across the sky
Thursday, November 02, 2006
Merkers Salt Mine: Nazi Bling Bank
"Early on April 8 Earnest, Russell, a public affairs officer, photographers, reporters, and elements of the 282d Engineer Combat Battalion entered the mine. They would be joined several hours later by Eddy, his deputy chief of staff, and a G-5 officer. One of the engineers who inspected the brick wall surrounding the vault door thought it could be blasted through with little effort. Therefore the engineers, using a half-stick of dynamite, blasted an entrance though the masonry wall. The Americans entered the vault, so-called Room No. 8, which was approximately 75 feet wide by 150 feet long with a 12-foot-high ceiling, well lighted but not ventilated. Tram railway tracks ran down the center of the cavern. On either side of the tracks, stretching to the back of the cavern, were more than seven thousand bags, stacked knee-high, laid out in twenty rows with approximately two and a half feet between rows. All of the bags and containers were marked, and the gold bags were sealed. Baled currency was found stacked along one side of the vault along with gold balances and other Reichsbank equipment. At the back of the cavern, occupying an area twenty by thirty feet, were 18 bags and 189 suitcases, trunks, and boxes. Each container bore a packing slip showing the contents and a tag bearing the name "Melmer." It was obvious that it was SS loot. Within days it would be confirmed that it was, and within ten days, the Americans would learn the extent of the loot and the identity of Melmer.."
glimpse
Also check out these old photos posted by the same guy: 1930s Black Americana and Wild Women of the Past.
World's most dangerous tourist route
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
all of civilization is simply a struggle against entropy
"A classified briefing prepared two weeks ago by the United States Central Command portrays Iraq as edging toward chaos, in a chart that the military is using as a barometer of civil conflict.."
Five Halloween safety tips
2. Only separate shards of X-Acto blades from rodent poison once you get home; doing so in the dark will lead to inevitable mixups and tummyaches for youngsters with allergies.
3. If a home has its porch light off — but an expressionless face can be seen peering from a cellar window — consider limiting your child’s unattended visit with the resident to no more than four hours.
4. If a close-fitting mask causes your child to fall down a well, use fishing line and a paper clip to retrieve her goodie bag. Nobody likes wet candy.
5. Although children dressed as SS-Sturmbannführer Michael Lippert are not required to “pretend execute” children dressed as Ernst Röhm, many parents find this bit of theatricality kindles the spirit that makes Halloween such a delight.
Another great one from 5ives