"The short story is that I, Zachary Feinstein, have declared for the 2008 NBA Draft. As a 5'8" 130 pound Caucasian, I am the perfect candidate for professional basketball. Also, I do not play basketball.
You see, I am not currently on my college's basketball team (Division 3 just for reference) nor did I try out to be. I was at no point on my high school's basketball team nor did I try out to be. I was at no point on my middle school's basketball team nor did I try out to be. The last time I was on a basketball team was before Bill Clinton got caught with his pants down.
So there you have it, I, Zach Feinstein, am in the 2008 NBA Draft."
